How To Plan A Wedding

Hello lovelies,  I hope you are well?

It’s that time of year again, when we are gearing up for wedding season and ‘helpful’ blog posts start appearing everywhere.  There’s something about these posts that riles me, if I am honest, and it got me thinking about a piece I had written last year, in response to a few that were doing the rounds then.  I have little doubt they will resurface again, so it seems timely to share my thoughts on how to plan a wedding. Not just any wedding, but yours.

I once saw an article entitled ‘How to be the Perfect Wedding Guest’ – The premise of which was to be kind of 1950s housewife guest I think.  ‘The idea of having fun is to blend in with the crowd’ ERM, hello, really?  I thought the idea of having fun is to, well, have a good time and be unaware of ‘blending in’.   Have fun, with wild abandon, don’t worry about fitting in, or tomorrow’s Facebook status. Then I read this article about ‘unplugged weddings’ and it struck me all I read from the wedding industry is how to have a wedding which makes the wedding professionals lives easier.  Yet more and more rules and ‘suggestions’ arrive every year, sapping the spontaneity from your big day, leaving you and your guests a little unsure about what the etiquette of the modern wedding is.

pastel bridesmaid inspiration

Bridesmaid inspiration

Somewhere things got turned on their heads.  Suppliers have forgotten it’s about you, the couple, and how you want your wedding to be.  We can guide you, but if at any point you feel you are being coerced into something that isn’t really ‘you’, then say no.  It’s fine.  Really.  You have hired us to do a job, don’t forget that.

So, go ahead with your neon 80’s wedding, your 70’s cool, your 20’s deco one.  Your fun weddings, serious ones, wild and quiet ones.  Gay, straight, an hour then down the pub weddings.  Your weekend in Ibiza ones, your church at the end of the road ones.  Allow phones – or don’t.  Dance like wild cats, play dominoes with your friends.  Enjoy your guests, even those who turn up in white or swap the place settings around.  You invited them because they are who they are and for what they bring to your life, not because they can tick the boxes on an ever increasing list.

Flower girls at Askham Hall

Fariy flower girls

Things may go wrong.  That’s OK too.  If this wedding can happen in the middle of Storm Desmond, then so will yours.  Your wedding is unique – come warts and all – because it’s about you, and the one you love.  Because really, that is what a marriage is all about.  You, and your loved one uniting. It’s your story – tell it how you want.


Cumbrian wedding at Kirklinton Hall

Couple dancing



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